Surviving The Mean Streets of Mumbai

OK, As I was walking today thinking pleasant thoughts of my last 7 weeks here in Mumbai and my last week as I held back the tears and had another epiphany: The Survival Pyramid of Mumbai. You know we have food chain pyramids, well here is a westerner's view of surviving the ever moving and less forgiving streets of Mumbai.

The bus. Top of the chain of survival. Don't walk in front of one and think that they will stop. Neither wind, nor rain, nor old bald white man, nor brown for that matter will prevent this vehicle from its appointed stop. Today the bus was travelling light, there are some laden with local passengers hanging on the windows from the outside while the rest are like sardines inside. I think the outside ride costs more because you can see where you are going and just drop off at anytime. That is why the Indian culture have no obese, they have to run and jump on some of vehicle in motion, no stopping, just like in Indiana Jones or is it Kevin Jones...not sure.
Ahhhhh, next in line is the Goods Carrier, smaller than a bus but able to leap most medians except the one on the way to the Accenture building where I waited in traffic for a half hour as one of these was straddling the median, all 4 wheels off the ground. Possibly tried to avoid a pedestrian...Nahhhhhhh, more likely a bus and he were headed straight on for each other and the driver let the bigger vehicle, I guess let is not the best word, the driver in fear for his life took the high road.

The next is your typical auto, can range anywhere from a suzuki version of a mini to a full grown Honda Accord or Mercedes. On my way home to write this a small compact and a small Goods Carrier could not share the road, recall in another blog, I said that there at times only 6 inches of space between vehicles, these two were like they were soldered together. The auto stops for nothing smaller than itself. It is usually driven by someone with no regard for human life or some woman looking for a new sari to wear to work on Monday.

OK, here we have the ever popular auto rickshaw. Capacity, 3 Idiots. I actually jumped into the back of one of these with Satish and Bhavesh last May while it was moving and carrying my laptop. Good times, good times. While in the auto rickshaw keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle(remember only 6 inches between vehicles) and if you have a bad back be prepared to see a chiropractor when you get out. However do NOT come to Mumbai and NOT ride in one. I will be taking Michele shopping in one when she arrives. Don't worry Michele, it's just like that wooden roller coaster at Hershey Park only there is nothing to strap you in and you can't raise your hands up and scream, well, you CAN scream, but it will do you no good because you won't be heard over the honking horns.

Lari, look , motorcycles!!! As I said, these puppies can carry one to 5 people and at times a whole family. If you could drive one of these for more than 15 minutes in Mumbai without getting in a wreck you could drive on one of those extreme tracks in the US. These are to me the most dangerous because they do not slow down for the speed bumps. I forgot to mention there are speed bumps usually on the side streets. the bikes can go around these and not slow down, and trust me just because you are walking and prone to be maimed or killed, this is not a deterrent.

These two were just sitting there, I am sure the drivers were somewhere tallying up the number of people they made go home and change their underwear today.

And next to last the bike. "Fat bottom girls you make the rockin world go round....get on your bikes and ride....." Again, prey to larger vehicles but more powerful than the pedestrian or westerner looking up in the sky to see the wondrous sites of plants on the top of the buildings and hotels.

OK, we are now at the bottom of the survival pyramid.

Here we have man, well sort of, this is Sundar, mentor for ORCHID and revered professor of telling tales out of school. He is here washing his hands after gorging himself on a meal I paid for. I guess he finally gave up(I.E. "washing his hands") on trying to surpass me in my weight loss. I am at 75.5 kgs a whopping 7 kgs from where I started around 15-16 pounds lighter.